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Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 1422 Location: Southampton

inspired new topic, woo! lets hear some of your most shameful mistakes/fuck ups/i-thought-i'd-take-this-to-my-grave-but-fuck-it-here-goes moments! (yes this is a vain attempt to make myself feel better wink

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i walked into an antiques shop to ask for directions on the D of E expedition without taking my back pack of first. needless to say the isles weren't pack-friendly and i swept past and knocked a very elabourate turkish glass tea set on the floor, smashing it to smitherenes, costing me £550. man..... and i was moaning that taking the pack off would just stall us....

Joined: 28 Feb 2005 Posts: 565 Location: Scumpton UK

Bo Check wrote:

inspired new topic, woo! lets hear some of your most shameful mistakes/fuck ups/i-thought-i'd-take-this-to-my-grave-but-fuck-it-here-goes moments! (yes this is a vain attempt to make myself feel better wink

)

i walked into an antiques shop to ask for directions on the D of E expedition without taking my back pack of first. needless to say the isles weren't pack-friendly and i swept past and knocked a very elabourate turkish glass tea set on the floor, smashing it to smitherenes, costing me £550. man..... and i was moaning that taking the pack off would just stall us....

Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 450 Location: Bristol

shit that sucks!

Hmmm off the top of my head one time springs to mind (though there has been many!)...

being a little vain diva i refused to wear trousers on my ex's motorbike as on that occassion i wanted to wear a nice long skirt to work and that was that.....i carefully tucked my skirt under me and we set off......we get half way up Burgess road and RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP i looked down and saw most my skirt wrapped up round his back wheel so we stopped and the fucker had actually eaten most of my skirt.......so there i was in a skirt torn to shreds that didn't cover anything up with all that congested Burgess road rush hour traffic there to have a good ol' laugh/perv.....nightmare

Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 1037 Location: 'the next level'

thistime last year i was fully set to mission down to play the deviock fest, i had arranged to be picked up from brighton by this semi-random but everything seemed cool. the night before i had split up with a pseudo girlfriend and as you can imagine i was fully ready for a weekend of rural shenanigans. i arrived at the point of collection, some stupid station near brighton called haywards minge. bear in mind i had with me the full cycrowave setup which consisted of a rather bulky trolly of assorted ethnic audio devices and two heavy boxes of hardware. having not been able to contact the geezer throughout the morning i was starting to feel slightly sceptical, when he finally picked up i was mortified to discover he thought the fest was one week later, the cunt was in scotland! after about an hour of hairpulling i decided to cut my losses, i phoned up jimi who was then living in brighton and went to meet him. we spent a nice afternoon drinking frosty jack on the beach, after we went to jims ex's house to hang out. the thing is though, jims ex was the best friend of the girl i had been seeing in london. little did i know they had arranged to go to this girls house for the whole weekend, in some discucting twist of fate she also set off for brighton that very same morning. i subsequently spent the whole weekend round this girls house in a catatonic state of frustration and self pity, the worst thing being the feeling that the world really does conspire against me.........

Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 450 Location: Bristol

Awwww CycrowaveMurry that isn't funny....that just makes me sad! i also find it hard to believe that only 3 people (including myself) have had a funny/blonde moment!

get to it and write something down kids....

Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1198

my unisex toilet moment
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Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 450 Location: Bristol

do tell........

the number of times people walked in on me using those loo's at deviok was interesting.......

Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1198

1st off, i really like unisex toilets they break down many barriers and are really social
err the story loses it in screen, at jew camplast year basically i instisted it was a unisex loo to some very worried american ladies, then had a good loud wee with lots of whistling, scared them a bit more with my post-piss banter then left whistling a bit more
i told my story of the silly repressed american women to the office staff and, err, no-one found it funny, that i had harrassed 2 paying international delegates in a ladies toilet
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Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 2:49 pm

Bleep,

I'll give you a prize if you can find that thread about all the random things you have done whilst DJing, I think Nut posted it.

That was the funniest thread I think i've ever read...

Talk about blonde moments...!

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 3:03 pm

Too late, I found it!!

Best bits from this thread...

Basically, someone said that they'd done what every dj has done in their lives at some point; taken the needle off the worng record after doing an incredible mix.

But Bleeps mishaps really take the biscuit...:

George Lazenbleep wrote:

*BLEEP - STYLE*

risk death by pulling records randomly from your overstacked shelves in lounge
take so many tunes that you pull something really painful under your shoulder
play all records at the wrong speed and if possible play the wrong side
change your mind as often as possible even if you think its impossible to cue it up on time
place the record in your hand on top of an already playing tune
catch the stylus on the sleeve of your hippy top
stand on your headphone cable as often as possible so your phones are yanked off dramatically when you stand up
if possible take the needle off a tune you've just dropped for no apparent reason, if this is not possible then be sure to knock the needle across a tune at least once
trip over your record bag land flat on your ass and laugh hysterically even though you're not drunk
cue up records with the crossfader open
try to cue up when you don't have your phones plugged in
play a record that you've just played twice
have your trouser fly open all night
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slut wrote:

OTHER BLEEP STYLES (there are many more)

Spend ages packing a bag of records and take the wrong one (from last weeks break night when goign to do a suday chillout set) and forget your 7" entirely.

make the dj before/after you look like a twat by tripping over whilst exiting/entering the booth sending the needle skidding across the playing record. But not be visible when the crowd start booing.

Fall asleep somwhere when you are mean't to be somewhere else playing records.

The Nut wrote:

slut wrote:

Fall asleep somwhere when you are mean't to be somewhere else playing records

...having 'accidentally' stolen the other djs phone so they're unable to contact you, and are left dieing for a piss, and screwing over how they've just lost their new phone.

The Nut wrote:

Oh me and the slut spaz things up plenty, we just pale in comparison to bleep.

Its an Uh-oh-spagetti-oh-a-minute with the guy!

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 3:39 pm

I've just had to leave the office for half an hour due to being in hysterics over this...

Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 1422 Location: Southampton

ah, i remember laughing at that too lol

ahh yes, good times.

i'm reminded of another blonde moment involving a cold winter night, my electric heater and a stack or records. you do the math!!

Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 1037 Location: 'the next level'

not funny enough eh fushcia, is the truest comedy not human tragedy?

anyway, I had just started a new job in this fancy london church painting. we'd done a day of work and just before finish we were quickly hushed out by the curator. before leaving I took the time to empty my bowels in the female toilets, (why not? they always have mirrors and smell better.) We did wonder why we had to leave under such mysterious circumstances, the gereatric curator refused to tell us anything. the only clue something was wierd was the blinged out bently parked out front complete with massive body guards flanking each side. thinking nothing of it i went home to the usual post work depressive lonely mong out drinking session (god i love being a jobseeker). the next morning whilst glancing through the paper I saw an article about madonna. it turns out she had visited that chuch yesterday and she was the reason we had to leave. i was in hysterics, just the thought madonna might have been grossed by my shit still warms my heart.....

Joined: 08 Jun 2004 Posts: 202 Location: nowhere land

i've had a couple of blonde monents. one was a council estate psycho who liked getting pissed and starting fights with my mates, the other was a fat minger who i threw up on whilst getting jiggy. it put me off for life. brunettes all the way.

Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 1422 Location: Southampton

Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 1422 Location: Southampton

genuine applause there by the way! that was funny lol

well done.

Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 10:40 pm

nowhereman wrote:

brunettes all the way

you knows it nowhereman!

can't think of any moments myself cos there's been so many ...

Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 450 Location: Bristol

nowhereman wrote:

a fat minger who i threw up on whilst getting jiggy. it put me off for life .

Ha ha is that true? what happened after that?

nowhereman wrote:

brunettes all the way.

Indeed!!!! Do brunettes that aren't currently brunette count too?

Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 12:57 pm

brunette is a state of mind

Joined: 14 Oct 2003 Posts: 450 Location: Bristol

Ah yes i remember being told that once....

Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 1037 Location: 'the next level'

nobody likes my madonna story then?

Joined: 16 May 2005 Posts: 532

I like it, just I've heard you tell it about a million times!

Joined: 12 Mar 2005 Posts: 1037 Location: 'the next level'

Jimi ray wrote:

I like it, just I've heard you tell it about a million times!

why dont you tell us a story then. its not like theres nothing to tell...

Joined: 16 May 2005 Posts: 532

There's far too many...I'm trying to think of one of the less rediculously stupid twatish clumsy idiot moments...i'll get back to you on that one, though I bet you can remember some of mine...I give you permission to tell as long as their not too bad...

Joined: 31 Mar 2004 Posts: 1422 Location: Southampton

yeah lewis, even i've heard that madonna story already, and i don't even know you that well yet! sort it out razz